Get the Guy: Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love You Deserve by Matthew Hussey
The readers can download Get the Guy: Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love You Deserve Audiobook for free via Audible Free Trial.
I rarely write reviews, but this one is going to be a long one. Matthew's approach really helps you figure out what you want and teaches you how to stick to it in a respectful way. He emphasizes when and why it's important to walk away, and how to maintain your standards with dignity. While there is a lot of emphasis on being the bigger person, I have to admit that in the end, it's probably better to do so, even if you'd rather react impulsively and unleash some verbal jabs. There is something to be said about responding like a lady instead of reacting like a banshee. The book provides great examples of how to charm men without compromising your self-worth, even in situations where they reject you.
However, there is one aspect that I disagree with. The book suggests that women should engage in sexual activities without mutual love and commitment. It sets the benchmark at the third date, even if the first two dates are just brief encounters over tea or coffee, as Matthew suggests. Personally, I believe that the highest level of love, intimacy, and commitment should come before engaging in sexual activities, regardless of how many encounters and dates have taken place beforehand. I absolutely love sex, but I believe it should be reserved for a deep level of emotional connection.
Matthew seems to portray the ultimate reward in a relationship as something that should be given freely to keep the guy interested, until he either gets tired of you or realizes you're not "The One." The truth is, the chances of sleeping with a guy and then discovering he's your Prince Charming are pretty slim. It can be a devastating betrayal to oneself, leading to either denial or a sense of being used. This is not about moralizing, but rather about self-respect and finding other ways to identify a worthwhile partner. One of the reasons why men struggle with commitment is because they can easily find sex without putting in much effort, rather than treating it as the rare and precious gem that it truly is.
I want to clarify that this is an honest observation, not a criticism of Matthew. After all, he hasn't married either and is just as caught up in the complexities of modern dating culture as the rest of us. In the past, our grandparents and great-grandparents understood the value of keeping intimacy and companionship exclusive. They held themselves and their relationships to a higher standard, and as a result, men were more committed to their wives, families, and overall values. They proved themselves through their actions and were held accountable by society.
Ladies, we are not empowering ourselves by succumbing to the notion that casual encounters are the main way to win a man's heart "forever," even though historically men have often engaged in such behavior. It may be a common custom, and like me, you may genuinely enjoy the intimacy and sensations of sex, but it should be cherished as a special and meaningful experience, not something trivial. Respecting yourself and valuing your body is the key to attracting a worthy partner who will honor your exclusivity, fidelity, and other noble qualities.
Claiming that you're in charge because you initiated a casual encounter is a hurtful mind game that perpetuates objectification, which we should strive to rise above. Men deserve to be respected and treated as individuals, not dogs or objects, and ladies, we deserve the same.
Every now and then, someone or a company goes above and beyond what you expect, surpassing even the promises made in their marketing and promotional materials. Matthew Hussey certainly achieves that with "Get the Guy: Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love You Deserve."
Don't be fooled, this book is not solely focused on getting a date (although it does provide excellent advice on that front). It delves deeper into getting the most out of your relationships with people, not just those you have a romantic interest in.
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